So am back. And still bored. Wonder what’s going on now. I smell something weird. Maybe I stink. Maybe I don’t. Maybe I do. Hmm. This could go on forever. Lalalalala am bored. Bored bored bored. My roommate keeps signing into msn. She has a horrible display picture. She’s nice. But weird. Weird weird weird. I really need to stop the repetition thing. Ok not that this is interesting but I have a test on Monday. AND I have to work on accounts ALL weekend as well. And the test is on stats. I hate stats. HATE. I’m still repeating myself.
There are workers outside. They’re fixing the ceiling. Am wondering what to do. They woke me up this morning. The workers I mean. There was this clanging noise on the wall and I woke up (which is a good thing or I would have missed my accounts tutorial) and I poked my head out the door and in the corridor right outside the toilet there was whole line of men. I sort of cocked my head to the side and stared at them dumbly for a while wondering how I was going to get to the washroom and wash my face and brush my teeth before going to class. There were bits of wet cement dripping off the ceiling as well. So every so often something would land on the floor. Anyway where was I? Oh yes so I was staring at them and then they stopped work and one of them goes “Stop” to the rest. So they all stopped. And then I ran through (ran in order to avoid being spattered with wet cement) and then when I was done I ran back to my room.
I told this to a friend this morning and she wasn’t too impressed with the story. Thought I was making a big deal out of nothing. But you know, being in danger of being attached by wet cement is no small thing in my book on any day. So yes. That friend sucks.
My hair looks nice today. You know when you look nice except there is no one around to appreciate it? That sucks. A LOT. I feel like being admired. And out. I feel like dressing up. There’s no where to go though. And no one to go with. And no where to go. I cannot stress enough that there is nowhere to go. Sigh. I need friends. I mean I have friends but I need people I can CLICK with. I was having this conversation with a friend today. About finding a group you can click with. Sigh. I say sigh a lot. Well I mean I feel like sighing a lot.
Have you noticed how the battery in a clock almost NEVER runs out? Or one day if your clock stops working you just take out the battery and put it back in and voila! Its working again. It’s weird. That came into my head because there’s a really old alarm clock right in front of me.
I want to go out and be looked at. Blatantly looked at. Am so bored. I should really study accounts. So much for university life being wild. Where do they get those college movies from? Really I want to know. Maybe you need to be in the states. Still I wouldn’t really want to go wild. I’m one of those people who like being in a rut. I like knowing people a long time. And hanging out with the same type of people. And just being in a routine. It’s ironic that I move around so much. I never actually grasped the true meaning of the word ironic. I just have a sense of what it means. But if someone asked me to define “irony” I would have no clue. I would be like “errr”. Completely puzzled. Bamboozled. That’s a funny word. Bamboozled.
Hmm I wonder if I’m boring. Or passionless. Maybe I am. I mean I don’t really know a lot. I like being in a rut. I’m not doing anything exciting and my adventure stories consist of things like not being able to go to the toilet because the ceiling is being fixed. I was talking to a friend last night. And ever since I had known her she had loved Japan. Like loved loved loved. And she was learning Japanese at school and she was just crazy about it. And nobody understood where she got this love of all things Japanese from. I mean I’d understand if she’d always wanted to go to Europe or something but…Japan? And then I talked to her yesterday after a long time on msn. It’s been like three years. And she’s in Japan at the moment. She got granted a scholarship by the Japanese government and just I was like aggggggggh.
There was this moment where I was hit by this bolt of both admiration and jealousy. I mean it must be amazing to be so passionate about something that you work for it your whole life and then eventually get somewhere. To have that sort of drive must feel like something. I have no drive. I mean I’m studying business but why? I hate the subject. It’s boring and well useless. The only reason I’m studying it is because I am equally bored with everything else. I like writing but then… after I graduate how will I get a job? “Hi! I’ve got a bachelors in writing…Employ me!” And I’m not so good anyway. Understand that this is not a put-myself-down fest. It’s just reality. Anyone who reads a lot can write. It’s no big deal. But how come I’m not passionate about a place or a goal or something.
You know sometimes I get these flashes. Not premonitions haha. I wish. But I suddenly have this idea and I think “I’ll do it!” but half way through I just lose interest. The other day I thought I would write a children’s book. I spent four hours researching publishers on the net. But today I really don’t care anymore. Is anyone else like that? You know a lot of people are actually. Most people are alike. All that stuff about “we are all individuals” is crap. Everyone is exactly the same. We think the same. We feel the same. The same sort of things make us feel good. The same sort of things make us feel bad. It’s just how we express everything that’s different. But then why is my friend in Japan so motivated? Why am I so not motivated? Sigh. The mysteries of life. I shall not attempt to fathom them today. Maybe tomorrow.
More soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment